


Fear is a strange thing

by TalesOfTale



Category: Just Roll With It (Podcast)
Genre: Sorry Not Sorry, and how sylnan coped with everything, okay, spoilers for backstory so i guess arc 1 episode 21 or something, this is basically just me thinking about the ol vengobros after their escape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:47:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23042710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalesOfTale/pseuds/TalesOfTale
Summary: Fear was a strange thing, Sylnan had noticed.There had never been a lack of it, back at the orphanageaka there are things that shouldn't be so frightening in retrospect, but fear isn’t always rational
Kudos: 49





	Fear is a strange thing

**Author's Note:**

> oof

Fear was a strange thing, Sylnan had noticed.

There had never been a lack of it, back at the orphanage. If he had been given a copper every time the caretakers had threatened to take Br’aad away from him if he didn’t behave, or towered over them with loud voices and rash movements, well, then they would be set for life already.

That whole place was just a mess of memories, some good, mostly not so. Mostly, it held a lot of emotions: Fear, anger, loneliness, frustration, and while there were  _ some _ good tidbits, most of it was drowned out in the sea of negatives when he looked back.

After all, fear was a lot of things. Powerful, painful and irrational.

Unfortunately, Sylnan didn’t get a copper each time, and they weren’t set for life. Yet, Br’aad and him had grown tired of being treated like something under a shoe, tired of hunger, tired of the  _ fear _ . They shouldn’t have to, but they had taken the situation into their own hands. 

It wasn’t easy, and there had been quite a few close call, but the first time Sylnan watched Br’aad’s face light up over a fresh piece of bread, he knew it would be worth it. That’s how it began, and it took off from there, escalating until Sylnan was confident in their ability to take care of themselves. His decision was, maybe unexpectedly, only rushed after Katherine’s disappearance. Now, nothing tied him here. He didn’t want to take any unnecessary risk, didn’t want to put Br’aad through more than he had to, but at this point it had to be worth it. A life on the run would still be better than this shithole? Than no life at all? Besides, Sylnan had heard rumors of some underground business- maybe there was a way to get a somewhat stable income if he managed to get involved?   
  
One fateful night, the decision was suddenly made, and their excited escape would probably be their best memory of the place. Then, they were on their own. There was no going back.

Sure, Sylnan had to admit he had doubted himself once or twice. The first night was most prominent, having found no proper roof over their head when the rain drenched them to the bone. When a guard had nearly caught Br’aad because of what targed he had pointed out? That had forever engrained itself into Sylnans mind. He was the older brother, this was his idea, and so the blame would lie on him if anything happened to Br’aad.

Slowly, though, the quality of life improved. Make no mistake- It was still a shitty life, still hard to get by with each day being a fight, but they found their way, together. An abandoned warehouse, connections with well-paying business, and food on the table was already far better than their lost life. Despite the close-calls and questionable methods used, they were happier. No longer having to look over their shoulder. Sylnan would never forget when Br’aad started to smile on the daily.

In the beginning, they had avoided the whole area around the orphanage like the plague, taking the longest round-abouts they could, but Sylnan had finally started to trust that they were safe. ~~And if the thought that no one cared to look for them had settled like a parasite in his mind, then so be it~~. At least he dared go close enough to see the building if he needed to.

One day, he did. 

Jumping over a fence to create more space between the furious shopkeeper waving a dagger after him and himself, the familiarity of the street hit him. Luckily, it wasn’t the first time he wanted to get away from someone here, so he simply climbed a tree and watched the chaser stumble past him.  _ Sorry pal, it’s us or you.  _ Now, all he had to do was wait.

The tree gave him quite the view, unfortunately it had to be over the place that still squeezed his heart. Instead, he shifted his gaze to the sky that was beginning to darken. The sound of the children playing could be heard in the distance, but soon it would probably be time to-

The clear bell rang loudly, once, twice, thrice. It was a simple call, meant to notify the children living there that it was time to round off and head ‘home’. During their whole life, however, that had been the sentencing of their prison. Each ring sent a stab into his gut, remembering by muscle memory what happened if you got late. It was a constant reminder that they were going to be stuck, starving in their rooms for another night, that the dark would dissipate into another morning where no one would care. A ghostly sensation brushed his fingers that still held bruises from ‘disobedience’, and Sylnan’s instinctual thought were that  _ they were probably so mad. They’re going to hurt us again, hurt Br’aad, please, someone- _

But they  _ weren’t _ there anymore, he tried to calm his beating heart. They had  _ escaped _ , he wanted to convince the warm tears running down his cheeks. They didn’t listen. 

Sylnan was no stranger to fear, in fact, he had discovered it was a lot of things. Powerful, painful, irrational,

and so very hard to lose.


End file.
